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January 17 alone on this worldEverytime I opened the computer, I checked my blog, hoping that someone may leave a footprint, but again and again, non. No one have ever stepped into this world.
It seems that I'm just talking to myself, that I'm just living, here and now, alone.
The past is blurring further away, and the future still refuse to give me a hint what it has to offer. I'm sitting here, blindly feeling the flow of time, watching the next flying through the present and die into the past.
The death of memory.
The death of hope.
What's next... January 14 language learning or aquring--who tells the difference?Surfing on the internet, i saw some big talks about how naturally the child acquire a second languages unconsciously while it takes painstaking efforts for adults to catch up, which they never will. Truth be told, I do agree with those respectful linguists on their fancy argument, which provides them a chance to publish numerous papers at this point, however, the sad fact that I've past that age and will never go back again draw me away to hide from their scrunity. Am I thrown back to the hell of helplessness no matter how hard i try with my languages simply because i can never be 12 again? Am I doomed? Somewhat, I relish the image of a 12-year-old takes pride in front of a 42-year-old with his colloquial English and perfect pronunciation, while the latter, struggling clumsily with his English with strong Chinese accent. Well... Recently, struggling with French and Spanish, the thought about how we learn languages at the beginning naturally came to me. Am I running the danger of turning myself into the French or Spanish version of that clumsy 42-year-old in the picture? With less native speakers and way less resources to turn to, where am I heading to? How far can I go eventually? January 13 高翻初试之后听写是一种偷懒的表现。一直满足于逐字逐句的记录，不肯做笔记，不肯锻炼快速处理信息力和短期记忆，真正接受挑战做传译，录下来一点点提高。所以你一直停滞不前。
必须开始行动。
BBC，THE ECONOMIST.
BBC的信息点很集中，短短五分钟浓缩了8个新闻，用它做交传是很好的练习。 TE 用词矫揉造作，书面语的特点非常明显，但是，反其道而行之，用这样的材料进行信息处理的练习可以帮助你把注意力真正集中到信息本身，脱离它绕来绕去的文字表面，用简洁流畅准确无误的中文进行传译，真正做到得意忘言。
笔译也要练习，和写作，阅读，影子训练，听写一样，是慢功活儿，那是语言的功底，与传译的训练关系不大，一定要分别对待。小心把视译做成了精读，传译做成了听力，影子做成了单纯的语音重复。
想起了沈昆的培训，8个月，每天8小时。 BBC, VOA听译，视译，会议口译，新闻综述。 我有这个时间，也有这个资源，却迟迟不肯开始。
November 30 骂骂咧咧 …从小养成的习惯，每临大考之前就很放松，大概都懂了，结果也无所谓，考前看闲书有点名不正言不顺，规定要记的东西又没有技术含量，死记硬背，没意思，索性躺在那，养神。 每次应付完考试就给自己定计划，真正读点东西，学点东西。总觉得备考是对时间无端的浪费， 实在不理解那些只为考试而学习的好学生们乐趣何在。结果是成绩从来高不到哪里去，还好也知足，中庸到现在。
嗨，这次是把我害苦了，不情愿也没办法，实实在在应付了一场极具中国特色的政治考试。
做中国学生真可怜... 本小姐真可怜 ... ... 家
午后的阳光铺洒在床上 带一丝甜味的静谧 恍然 另一个世界 没有时空 只剩下阳光美好的力量 品味当下， 不再向往 超越善恶 情感的纯粹 那原初的 自然的 无意识的流动 没有记恨 躁动 甚至欲望 单纯着此刻的鲜活与幸福 时空在这一点 顿然 灵动了起来
今天太无聊啦！！ 法语看得晕晕晕。。。听听英国史吧，好受些
trance 发呆出神
Spellbindingly reminiscent of things the Romans must have seen in Etruria
scoop out 用铲子铲出
--Grisly brutality of the druids. 德鲁伊教团员
Gauntlet 交叉射击 run the gauntlet 受夹道鞭打, 受严厉批评
Why did the Romans come here to the edge of the world, and run the gauntlet of all these ominous totems.
The lure of treasure
In 55 BC Julius Caesar launched his galleys across the Channel.
They would understand that history always fall on the side of the Romans, the trouble was, geography didn’t.
Claudius, the club-foot弯脚的, 畸足的stammer, on the face of it, the most unlikely conqueror of all was determined to get it right. Through a brilliant strategy of carrot and stick.
The chieftains 首领 javelin (投掷用的)标枪 for those chieftains who were sensible enough to reach the branch of olive branch rather than the battle javelin, Claudius had another plan.
dolce vita [意] 放荡, 淫乱 a taste of dolce vita
patrician 贵族 sumptuous (华丽的) country villas hunger for a taste of it
grove 小树林
the spectacular palace at Fishbourne
Sign up as /'s ally
Football pitches
Resistance----Queen Boudicca It only took a policy of incredible stupidity, arrogance, brutality of the local Roman governor to turn her from a warm supporter of Rome to its most dangerous enemy.
A public flogging(鞭打 )
In 60 AD, Boudicca rose up in furious revolt quickly gathering an army bent on vengeance. With the cream 精英部队 of the roman troops tied down，suppressing an insurgency in north Wales, Boudicca’s army marched towards the place which symbolized the now-hated Roman colonization of Britain, Colchester.
The implacable anger of Boudicca
tie down 系住, 拴住, 束缚
garrison卫戍部队, 驻军, 卫戍地, 要塞 v.守卫, 驻防
with thousands of them huddled(卷缩 )terrified scorch烧焦, 枯萎
fully prepared for all that life could throw at me.
The swollen and unwieldy (笨拙的)army
Her great insurrection ended in a gory(血淋淋的) chaotic slaughter.
Lessons had been learned in a hard way, at least for some.
An enormous pitched battle (激战)---at Mons Graupius –another slaughter
Calgacus Caledonian general 1st anti-imperialist speech on Scotland’s soil
Here at the world’s end, on its last soil of liberty, we have lived unmolested(骚乱, 困扰, 调戏 )to this day defended by our remoteness and obscurity(偏僻) But there are no other tribes to come, nothing but sea and cliffs and these more deadly Romans whose arrogance you cannot escape by obedience and self-restraint, to plunder, butcher, steal. These things they misname empire, they make a desolation and they call it peace. -- -- Passive 的学习方法没有什么不好，不那么用力，只是简单舒服地听读，不着意练习和记忆，效果反而出奇的好。是随风潜入夜的感觉，潜移默化的影响。学东西不必那么用力， GRE 词汇的老师一直强调，对待词汇记忆，相对于花一个小时一个个强记30个词会忘掉一半，而用这1个小时随意的浏览这些词汇，来回翻10来遍，反而会记得很牢，相比前者有很轻松哦。 呵呵，用巧劲儿，干嘛学得那么死气白咧的呀。
今天状态不是很好，计划还得调整，大方向不会变，一定要舒舒服服地读， 学会休息。
From its earliest days, Britain was an object of desire.
Tacitus(历史学家塔西佗) declared it pretium victoriae—‘worth of conquest’, the best compliment that could occur to a Roman. He’d never visited these shores but was nonetheless convinced that Britannia was rich in gold. Silver was abundant there too.
Apparently so were peals, although Tacitus had heard that they were gray like the overcast rain heavy skies, and the natives only bother to collect them when they were cast up on the shore.
As far as the Roman historians were concerned, Britannia might well be off the edge of the world, but it was off the edge of their world, not in some howling, barbarian wilderness. And if the same righters has been able to travel in time as well as in space to the northernmost of our island, to the Arcadians, our modern Orkney, they would have seen something much more astonishing, than heaps of pearls--the unmistakably signs of a civilization thousands of years older than Rome.
There are remains of the Stone Age life, dotted all over Britain and Ireland. But no where is as abundantly as Orkney with its mounds(土墩, 护堤), graves, and above all its great circle of standing stones like here at Brodgar, vast, imposing and utterly unknowable.
But Orkney boosts another Neolithic sight that is in its way even more impressive than Brodgar, the last thing you would expect from a stone age—a shockingly familiar glimpse of ancient domestic life.
Perched on the western coast of Orkney’s main islands, a village called Skara Brae.
Here, beneath an area no bigger than the 18th green of golf course lies Europe’s most complete Neolithic community miraculously preserved for 5000 years under a blanket of sand and grass until uncovered in 1850 by a ferocious sea storm.
This is a recognizable village neatly fitted into its landscape between the pasture and the sea, intimate, domestic and self-sufficient. And although were technically still in the stone age in the Neolithic period, these dwellings are not huts they are true houses, built from the sand stone slabs that lied all around the islands which gave stout protection to the villagers here at Skara Brae from their biting Orcadian英国奥尼克郡(Orkney) 群岛的winds. And the villagers were real neighbors living cheek by jowl, their houses connected by walled, sometimes decorated alley ways. It’s not too much of a stretch to imagine gossip traveling down those alley ways after hearty seafood’s supper. We have in other words, everything you could possible want in a village, except a church and a pub.
In 3000 BC the sea and the air were a little warmer than they are now. And once they’ve settled in the sand stone houses, they could harvest red bream, and mussels 贻贝, 蚌类and oysters that were abundant in the shallows.
Cattle provided meat and milk, and dogs were kept for hunting and for company.
During the Neolithic centuries, there would’ve been dozens of little villages here. Half dug into the ground, for comfort and for safety, a thriving bustling little community of 50 or 60.
But the real miracle of Scara Brae is that these houses were not mere shelters. They were built by people who had culture, who had style.
And here’s where they showed off their style--the fully equipped, all-purpose, Neolithic living room, complete with luxuries and necessities.
Necessities?
Well, at the center, a hearth around which they warmed themselves and cooked their food. The stone tank which to keep live fish bait. And since we know that some of the houses have drains underneath them, they must also, believe it or not, have had indoor toilets.
Luxuries?
Well, the orthopaedically correct stone bed may not seem particularly luxurious. But the addition of the layers of heather and straw would certainly have softened the sleeping surface and would actually have made this bed seem rather snug暖和的. At the center of it all though, was the spectacular dresser of which our house-proud Neolithic villages would have set out all the most precious stuff. Fine bone and ivory necklaces beautifully rotten 风化的carved stone objects. Everything designed to make a grand interior statement.
Given the rudimentary nature of the tools, it would have taken the villagers countless man-hours to build not just these domestic dwellings but also the great circles of stone, where they would gather to worship.
Scara Brae was not just an isolated settlement of fishers and farmers. Its people must have belonged to some larger societies, one sophisticated enough to mobilize the army of toilers and craftsman needed not just to make these monuments, but to stand them on end. And they were just as concerned about housing the dead as the living.
The mausoleum陵墓at Maes Howe, a couple of miles from Scara Brae, seems no more than a swelling on the grassy landscape. But this is as they were, a British pyramid. And in keeping our taste for understatement, it reserves all its impact for the interior.
Imagine them open once more, a detail from the village, given the job of pulling back the stone seals, lugging the body through the low opening in the earth, up 36 feet of narrow, tight-fitting passageway lit only once a year by the rays of the winter solstice至, 至日, 至点, a death canal constriction smelling of the underworld.
Finally the passage way opens up into the stupendous, high-vaulted masonry石工术, 石匠职业chamber. Some of these tombs would have been elaborately decorated with carvings and formal circles or spirals like waves or the breeze pushed clouds. Others would have neat little stones stores or cubicles where the bodies would have been laid out on the shelves.
The grinders of these grandest tombs had openings to cut the wall to create side chambers where the most important bodies could be laid out in aristocratic spaciousness, like family vaults in the country church. Unlike Medieval knights though, these grandiose grandees贵族, 大公, 显贵者were buried with eagles and dogs or even treasure, the kind of things that the Vikings broke into these tombs thousands of years later, were quick to filch.
In return, though, these early tomb raiders left their own legacy-- these wonderful graffiti.
“These runes古代北欧使用的文字, 诗歌were carved by the most skilled room carver in the western ocean.
-- I bedded Thorny here.”
“Ingegirth is one horny [俚]好色的; 淫乱的bitch.”
As for the Orcadian hoi polloi, well they ranked space in a common chamber on a floor carpeted with the bones of hundreds of their predecessors, a crowded waiting room to their afterworld.
For centuries, life at Scara Brae must have continued in much the same way. But around 2500 BC the island climate seems to have got colder and wetter.
The red bream disappeared and so did the stable environment the Arcadians had enjoyed for countless generations. Fields were abandoned; the farmers and fishers migrated, leaving their stone buildings and tombs to be covered by layers of peat泥煤, 泥炭块, drifting sand and finally grass.
The mainland, too, of course, had its burial chambers, let alone the barrier of west kanet. like the long barrow at West Kennet.
And there were also the great stone circles, the largest of Avebury, but the most spectacular of all—at Stonehenge.
By 1000 BC, things were changing fast. All over the British landscape, a protracted struggle for good land was taking place. Forests were cleared, so that the Iron Age Britain was not as was once romantically imagined an unbroken forest kingdom, stretching from Cromwell to Inverness.
It was rather a patchwork of open fields, dotted here and there with wood land corpses giving cover for game, especially wild pigs.
And it was a crowed island; we now think that as many people live on this land, as during the rein of Elizabeth 1, 2500 years later. Some archaeologists believe that almost as much land was being farmed at the Iron Age as in 1914.
So it comes as no surprise to see one spectacular difference from the litter world of Scara Brae—great windowless towers. They were built centuries before the Roman invasions when population pressure was at its most intense and farmers had growing need of protection first from the elements but later from each other.
Many of those towers still survive, though none are as daunting as the great stone stockade on Arran off Ireland’s west coast.
And they didn’t just spring up around the edges of the British islands, all over the mainland, too. The great hill forts of the Iron Age remain visible in terraced contours of places like Danebury of Maiden castle.
Lofty seatsof power for the tribal chiefs they were defended by rings of earthworks, timber palisades木栅and ramparts垒, 壁垒, 城墙
Behind those daunting walls, this was not a world in panicky retreat
The Iron Age Britain into which the Romans eventually crashed with such an alarming force was a dynamic, expanding society. From their workshops came the spectacular metal work with which the elite decorated their bodies, armlets, pins and brooches and ornamental shields like this, the so-called Battersea shield.
All these astonishing stylized bronze horses, endearingly melancholy in expression, like so mant Eeyores resigned to 听天由命的 a bad day in the battle.
And with tribal manufacture came trade.
October 10 正式备考高翻了散漫了这么久，终于老实下来了。 从今天晚上开始，正式备考啦！
法语，政治，TE 翻译, BBC, TTC, 散文。 就这么多。
限定范围的系统化复习，应试性的记忆我一向不以为然，自然也不擅长，觉得它没灵性，没空间，谁都会。
不过，这次倒是要认认真真地应试了。本着每分必争的精神，踏踏实实地准备一把。
不折腾太多东西，你一向过于贪心。学习把事情做细，做准，力求完美和精确。
呵呵，我还是那个无往不胜的孩子，摔倒不知道疼的。
这一次， 不喊口号，不走极端，调整到最佳状态，瞄准方向，赢一个满堂彩。
普特的 BBC连坐了几天的头版，有点上瘾的。 这把椅子绝不轻易让人！呵呵
October 08 la vie en roseEdith Piaf
Edith Piaf October 05 戏说次贷危机在美国，贷款是非常普遍的现象，从房子到汽车，从信用卡到电话账单，贷款无处不在。当地人很少全款买房，通常都是长时间贷款。可是我们也知道，在这里失业和再就业是很常见的现象。这些收入并不稳定甚至根本没有收入的人，他们怎么买房呢？因为信用等级达不到标准，他们就被定义为次级信用贷款者，简称次级贷款者。 October 02 ------绝对运动和相对静止的关系，在菜根谭里有句话应得很切。
天地寂然不动，而气机无息稍停； 日月昼夜奔驰，而贞明万古不易。
想起了初读菜根谭时的惊喜，拍案叫绝，如获至宝。回头看看，仍有教益。摘录几段。
涉世浅，点染亦浅；历事深，机械亦深。
君子之心事，天青日白，不可使人不知；
这两段是我最喜欢的，和当今自我推销的哲学背道而驰，也许是和自己的性格和相符吧，觉得他说得真是恰倒好处。做人坦坦荡荡，是最轻松的一种选择，你的心思没有污点，不怕公众于世，率性而为，随意随性，又需要顾忌什么呢？故君子与其练达，不若朴鲁；与其曲谨，不若疏狂。
不轻易把自己的才华抖露出来，不把心思和精力放在心机钻营之上，因为一旦沾染了尘世的污浊，你的心思就重了，轻盈不起来，将别人的枷锁套到自己的身上，心就不得自由了。
耳中常闻逆耳之言，心中常有拂心之事，才是进德修行的砥石。
夜深人静独坐观心，始觉妄穷而真独露，每于此中得大机趣；
心地干净，方可读书学古。不然，见一善行，窃以济私，闻一善言，假以覆短，是又藉寇兵而济盗粮矣。
修东西，心要正，要纯洁，干净， 这是根本。心胸狭窄的，心术不正的，怀揣歪风邪气的人最多只能成个工匠（CRAFTSMAN）， 看到好处就偷偷满足自己的私欲，听一句好话就借以掩盖自己的缺点，这样的人，不管他多努力都成不了大气。 要有人给你逆耳之忠言， 这是条件。很多自己意识不到的问题，旁观者的指点相当宝贵，有时会有一句话点醒梦中人的感觉。 要有日三省吾身的精神，这是方法，道路。只有你理智的思考，反省，并作出调整，才有成长和前进的可能。 有时候觉得搞笑，学外文学了这么多年竟然发现中国古人的智慧足够你用几辈子的了，用得着到外边找吗？
--- ---陋室空堂，当年笏满床；
分分和和，痴男怨女，空如戏一场。突然想起了甄士隐注释的《好了歌》， 我经常是说别人头头是道，到头来自己却也逃不掉这自寻烦恼，自取其辱的境地，争强好胜，执迷不悟，在这个乱哄哄的人生戏台闹个没完，傻死了，可笑。 September 30 孩子，别忘了，要坚强天将降大任于是人也，必先苦其心志，劳其筋骨，饿其体肤，空伐其身行，行弗乱其所为，所以动心忍性，曾益其所不能。人恒过，然后能改。困于心，衡于虑，而后作。徵于色，发于声，而后喻。
上天将要降落重大责任在这样的人身上，一定要道先使他的内心痛苦，使他的筋骨劳累，使他经受饥饿，以致肌肤消瘦，使他受贫困之苦，使他做的事颠倒错乱，总不如意，通过那些来使他的内心警觉，使他的性格坚定，增加他不具备的才能。
这一次，伤得真的很深，心疼的厉害，想起了天国的妈妈，曾经的痛苦和绝望，泪如雨下。曾经那样挣扎过，曾经告诉自己，即使在生命的谷底，也不要忘记仰望星空。
痛苦，只会让我更坚强，不要害怕磨难和伤痛，那都是成长。学习坚忍的力量，给自己疗伤。 在没有人安慰的夜里，轻轻跟自己说，孩子，要坚强，挺过去，去坚定自己的梦想，不要后退，不要回头，不要迷失方向。
晓光，我相信...晓光，我相信，你是上苍给我的一份更为崇高的厚礼-- 一种欣幸的，如沐天恩的心境。 在此心境里，人生之谜的重负， 幽晦难明的世界的如磐重压， 都趋于轻缓，在此安恬心境里， 爱与温情为我们循循引路-- 直到这皮囊仿佛中止了呼吸， 周身的血液仿佛不再流转， 躯壳已昏昏入睡，我们成了 翩翩的灵魂，万象的和谐与怡悦 以其深厚的力量，赋予我们 安详静穆的眼光，凭此，才得以 洞察物象的生命。
To thou i may have owed another gift, Of aspect more sublime; that blessed mood While with an eye made quiet by the power Of harmony, and the deep power of joy, We see into the life of things.
亲爱的，这是Wordsworth的一首写景诗，我把它改了一下， 借Wordsworth的文字，写给你的心情。 晓光，在人生的旅途上，我们能如此倾心相伴走过，单纯美好地相互依偎，爱过，又有什么不满足的呢？有何必在意是否真的能相厮相守？ 亲爱的，现实很残酷，担子太重，我如何承受。但哭过闹过之后，我静了下来。分开了，我们也是幸福的，因为不管你在哪里，we have entered into each other’s world, imprinting influences on every corner. You are live in my expression, my words, and thinking. In this special way, we become one. Does it really matter whether reality sets us physically apart?
September 27 the past is another country伯克利的课，感觉还好，速度很快，有时候需要查维基，没有电子辞典简直听不下去。但术语再难，反复出现也会形成条件反射。
其实基本知识都是高中生物学过的，有这样的基础，跟下去不算费力。几节课下来，对自己的智力和学习能力的信心大增，课程没有想象的难，笔记做起来也还算轻松。想来四年一直在折腾语言，似乎没学什么实际的东西，真正开始上课，还挺好玩的。
About history
It's a wonderful experience to enjoy the lectures of history 5 in Berkeley and the Italian Renaissance from TTC. Learning history is like traveling to another place, another country, which never lack the excitement of knowing new people and things, the imagination of what it would be like to be a certain person in a certain period of time in history, and you end up with a better understanding of yourself.
As T.S. Eilot put it, "we shall not cease from exploration and the end of all exploring will be to arrive at where we started, and know the place for the first time."
The end is somehow the starting point. September 25 So You Want To Learn Japanese这篇文章是一位日语专业的美国大学生的搞笑力作，不禁感慨, 学语言的，做中国人真好啊... 看把鬼子折磨的！！ check this out!! So You Want To Learn Japanese
You've eaten at a few Japanese restaurants, seen some anime, hosted an exchange student, and had a Japanese girlfriend. And now, somewhere in the back of your tiny brain, you think that Japanese would be a good language to learn. Hey, you could translate video games! Or Manga! Or even Anime! Pick up Japanese girls, impress your friends! Maybe you'll even go to Japan and become an anime artist! Yeah! Sounds like a great idea! So you head down to the library, pick up some books with titles like "How To Teach Yourself Japanes In Just 5 Seconds A Day While Driving Your Car To And From The Post Office" and "Japanese For Complete And Total, Utter Fools Who Should Never Procreate". Hey, you already know a few words from your manga collection/girlfriend/anime. Excited and impressed with your new knowledge, you begin to think: "Hey. Maybe, just maybe, i could do this for a living! Or even major in Japanese! Great Idea, Right? WRONGI don't care how many anime tapes you've watched, how many Japanese girlfriends you've had, or books you've read, You don't know Japanese. Not only that, majoring in the godforsaken language is NOT fun or even remotely sensible. Iraqi war prisoners are often forced to major in Japanese. The term "Holocaust" comes from the Latin roots "Holi" and "Causm", meaning "to major in Japanese". You get the idea. And so, sick of seeing so many lambs run eagerly to the slaughter, I have created This Guide to REAL TIPS for Studying Japanese. Or, as is actually the case, NOT studying it. REASON ONE, IT IS TOO HARD This should be an obvious. Despite what many language books, friends, or online tutorials may have told you, Japanese is NOT simple, easy, or even sensical (Japanese vocabulary is determined by throwing tiny pieces of sushi at a dart board with several random syllables attatched to it). TheJapanese spread these rumours to draw foolish Gaijin into their clutches. Not only is it not simple, it's probably one of the hardest language you could ever want to learn. With THREE completely different written languages (none of which make sense), multitude of useless, confusing politeness levels, and absolutely insane grammatical structure, Japanese has been crushing the souls of the pathetic Gaijin since it's conception. Let's go over some of these elements mentioned above so you can get a better idea of what I mean. The Japanese Writing SystemThe Japanese writing system is broken down into three separate, complete, and insane, parts: Hiragana ("those squiggily letters"), Katakana ("those boxy letters") and Kanji ("roughly 4 million embodiments of your worst nightmares"). Hiragana is used to spell out Japanese words using syllables. It consist of many letters, all of which look completely different and bear absolutely no resemblance to each other whatsoever. Hiragana were devloped by having a bunch of completely blind, deaf, and dumb Japanese people scribble things on pieces of paper while having no idea why they were doing so. The resulting designs were then called "hiaragana". The prince who invented these characters, Yorimushi("stinking monkey-bush-donkey") was promptly bludgeoned to death. But don't worry, because you'll hardly use Hiragana in "real life". Katakana are used only to spell out foreign words in a thick, crippling japanese accent, so that you'll have no idea what you're saying even though it's in English. However, if you remember one simple rule for Katakana, you'll find reading Japanese much easier: Whenever something is written in Katakana, it's an English word! (note: Katakana is also used for non-english foreign words. And sound effects, and Japanese words). Katakana all look exactly the same, and it's impossible, even for Japanese people, to tell them apart. No need to worry, because you'll hardly ever have to read Katakana in "real life". Kanji are letters that were stolen from China. Every time the Japanese invaded China (which was very often) they'd just take a few more letters, so now they have an estimated 400 gazillion of them. Kanji each consist of several "strokes", which must be written in a specific order, and convey a specific meaning, like "horse", or "girl". Not only that, but Kanji can combined to form new words. For example, if you combine the Kanji for "small", and "woman", you get the word "carbeurator". Kanji also have different pronounciations depending on where they are in the word, how old you are, and what day it is. When European settlers first came upon Japan, the Japanese scholars suggested that Europse adopt the Japanese written language as a "universal" language understood by all parties. This was the cause of World War 2 several years later. Don't worry, however, since you'll never have to use kanji in "real life", since most Japanese gave up on reading a long, long time ago, and now spend most of their time playing Pokemon.
Politeness LevelsPolitness Levels have their root in an ancient Japanese tradition of absolute obedience and conformity, a social caste system, and complete respect for arbitrary heirarchical authority, which many American companies believe will be very helpful when applied as magaerial techniques. They're right, of course, but no one is very happy about it.Depending on who you are speaking to your politeness level will be very different. Politeness depends on many things, such as age of the speaker, age of the person being spoken to, time of day, zodiac sign, blood type, sex, whether they are Grass or Rock Pokemon type, color of pants, and so on. For an example of Politness Levels in action, see the example below. Japanese Teacher: Good morning, Harry.
Harry: Good Morning. Japanese Classmates: (gasps of horror and shock) The bottom line is that Politeness Levels are completely beyond your understanding, so don't even try. Just resign yourself to talking like a little girl for the rest of your life and hope to God that no one beats you up. Grammatical StructureThe Japanese have what could be called an "interesting" grammatical structure, but could also be called "confusing", "random", "bogus" or "evil". To truly understand this, let's examine the differences between Japanese and English grammar. English Sentence:
Jane went to the school. Same Sentence In Japanese: School Jane To Went Monkey Apple Carbeurator. Japanese grammar is not for the faint of heart or weak of mind. What's more, the Japanese also do not have any words for "me", "them", "him, or "her" that anyone could use without being incredibly insulting (the Japanese word for "you", for example, when written in kanji, translates to"I hope a monkey scratches your face off"). Because of this, the sentence "He just killed her!" and "I just killed her!" sound exactly the same, meaning that most people in Japan have no idea what is going on around them at any given moment. You are supposed to figure these things out from the "context", which is a German word meaning "you're screwed". REASON TWO, THE JAPANESE PEOPLEWhen most Americans think of Japanese people, they think: polite, respectful, accomadating. (They could also possibly think: Chinese). However, it is important to learn where the truth ends and our Western stereotyping begins. Of course, it would be irresponsible of me to make any sweeping generalizations about such alarge group of people, but ALL Japanese people have three characteristics: they "speak" English, they dress very nicely, and they're short. The Japanese school system is controlled by Japan's central government, which, of course, is not biased in any way (recent Japanese history textbook title: "White Demons Attempt To Take Aaway our Holy Motherland, But Great And Powerful Father-Emperor Deflects Them With Winds From God: The Story Of WW2"). Because of this, all Japanese have been taught the same English-language course, which consists of reading The Canterbury Tales, watching several episodes of M*A*S*H, and reading the English dictionary from cover to cover. Armed with this extensive language knowledge, the children of Japan emerge from school ready to take part in international business and affairs, uttering such remarkable and memorable sentences as "You have no chance to survive make your time", and adding to their own products by inscribing english slogans, such as "Just give this a Paul. It may be the Paul of your life" on the side of a slot machine. Secondly, all Japanese people dress extremely well. This fits in with the larger Japanese attitude of neatness and order. Everything has to be in it's correct place with the Japanese, or a small section in the right lobe of their brain begins to have seizures and they exhibit erratic violent behavior until the messiness is eradicated. The Japanese even FOLD THEIR DIRTY CLOTHES. Sloppiness is not tolerated in Japanese society, and someone with a small wrinkle in their shirt, which they thought they could hide by wearing a hooded sweatshirt over it (possibly emblazoned with a catchy english phrase like "Spread Beaver, Violence Jack-Off!"), will be promptly beaten to death with tiny cellular phones. Lastly, the Japanese are all short. Really, really short. It's kind of funny. Not ones to leave being tall to the Europeans or Africans, however, the Japanese have singlehandedly brought shoes with incredibly gigantic soles into style, so that they can finally appear to be of actual human height, when in reality their height suggests that they may indeed be closer in relation to the race of dwarves or Hobbits. Japanese culture is also very "interesting", by which we mean "confusing" and in several cases "dangerous". Their culture is based on the concept of "In Group/Out Group", in which all Japanese people are one big "In" group, and YOU are the "Out" group. Besides this sense of alienation, Japan also produces cartoons, and a wide variety of other consumer products which are crammed into your face 24 hours a day, seven days a week. The Japanese also like cock fighting monsters that live in your pants, taking baths with the elderly, and killing themselves. Japanese food is what some people would call "exotic", but what most people call "disgusting", or perhaps, in some areas, "whack". Japanese food evolved in ancient days, when the main staple of the diet was rice. People got so sick and tired of eating rice, in fact, that they ate just about anything else they could find, from seaweed to other Japanese people. This has led to the creation of such wonderful foods as "Natto", which I believe is a kind of bean but tastes like battery acid, and "Pocky", which is a stick with different frostings on it, the flavors of which include Sawdust and Strawberry. Despite this variety of foods, however, the Japanese have succeeded in making every single thing they eat, from tea to plums, taste like smokey beef. As if learning the language wasn't hard enough, Japanese classes in America tend to attract the kind of student who makes you wish that a large comet would strike the earth. There are a few basic type of students that you'll always find yourself running into. These include The Anime Freak, The Know It All, and the Deer Caught In Headlights. The Anime Freak is probably the most common, and one of the most annoying. You can usually spot a few warning signs to let you identify them before it's too late: they wear the same exact Evangelion shirt every day, they have more than one anime key chain on their person, they wear glasses, they say phrases in Japanese that hey obviously don't understand (such as "Yes! I will never forgive you!"), they refer to you as "-chan", make obscure Japanese culture references during class, and usually fail class. You have to be extremely careful not to let them smell pity or fear on you, because if they do they will immeadiately latch onto you and suck up both your time and patience, leaving only a lifeless husk. Desperate for human companionship, they will invite you to club meetings, anime showings, conventions, and all other sorts of various things you don't care about. The Know It All typically has a Japanese girlfriend or boyfriend, and because of this "inside source" on Japanese culture, has suddenly become an academic expert on all things Japanese, without ever having read a single book on japan in their entire lives. You can usually spot Know It All's by keeping an eye out for these warning signs: a cocky smile, answering more than their share of questions, getting most questions wrong, questioning the teacher on various subjects and then arguing about the answers (a typical exchange: Student: What does "ohayoo" mean?,Teacher: It means "good morning", Student: That's not what my girlfriend said...), being wrong, talking alot about Japanese food and being wrong, giving long, unnecessarily detailed answers which are wrong, and failing class. The Deer Caught In headlights are those students who took Japanese because either a.) they thought it sounded like fun, b.) they thought it would be easy, or c.) they just need a couple more credits to graduate. These students wear a mask of terror and panic form the moment they walk into class till the moment they leave, because all they can hear inside their head is the high pitched scream their future is making as it is flushed down the toilet. They are usually failing. Although many of Japanese-language students are smart, funny, hard working people, none of them will be in your class. If you can get past the difficulty, society, and classmates, you will probably find Japanese to be a fun, rewarding language to learn. We wouldn't know, however, since no one has ever gotten that far. But hey, I'm sure You're different. Author's Note:This whole essay, although sprinkled with truisms here and there, is a joke and should be taken like one. I'm actually a Japanese major myself, and even if I've given it a bit of a hard time, I love the Japanese language, and I think everyone should give it a try. You should just be ready for a whole lot of pain. HAPPY LANGUAGE LEARNING! |
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